Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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