He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
