The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he fucked my hip out of place.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
