I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
