i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
