My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
