I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize