sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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