Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
