Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
