I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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