today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
