apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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