A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
