I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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