i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It's blow job season.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
