summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
