Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
