in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
grandma shit on top of the toilet
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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