My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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