home. puking in laundry basket.
there was a trapeze. enough said
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
