My brain says no but my pants say off.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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