I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
