Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
