Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
