Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So apparently I’m into choking now
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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