tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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