Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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