So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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