Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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