KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
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We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
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winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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