Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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