and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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