we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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