All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
