well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
