I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
