# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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