So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
