Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
