yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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