I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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