You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
