THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
