I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
