I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?