You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
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Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
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Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We need to get me chipped asap
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?