Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people http://tfl.nu/avir
  Replies (19) Good night (4526) Bad night (1255)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  My entire life is one complicated drinking game

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): My entire life is one complicated drinking game http://tfl.nu/hoza
  Replies (19) Good night (4244) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit. http://tfl.nu/riqs
  Replies (72) Good night (4637) Bad night (1009)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  whats a bus flip?

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  idk but apparently i invented it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip (1-225): whats a bus flip? (225): idk but apparently i invented it http://tfl.nu/n87k
  Replies (23) Good night (9778) Bad night (1064)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with. http://tfl.nu/ihrj
  Replies (13) Good night (3988) Bad night (1219)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house http://tfl.nu/d9cn
  Replies (14) Good night (3283) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early. http://tfl.nu/j6ta
  Replies (3) Good night (1394) Bad night (1863)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything http://tfl.nu/uj6p
  Replies (8) Good night (2406) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles. http://tfl.nu/lwcx
  Replies (5) Good night (3198) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life. http://tfl.nu/lr0e
  Replies (7) Good night (617) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches. http://tfl.nu/i131
  Replies (6) Good night (1410) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises. http://tfl.nu/1767
  Replies (4) Good night (785) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King. http://tfl.nu/3lhe
  Replies (2) Good night (787) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted

  (815): View more from Illinois

  HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted (815): HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA http://tfl.nu/meeq
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door. http://tfl.nu/cqoi
  Replies (6) Good night (469) Bad night (677)

Randomize