Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters

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(778): View more from British Columbia

some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"

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(415): View more from California

I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?

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(970): View more from Colorado

she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you

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(626): View more from California

It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch

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