ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
