I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She's the barista slut.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
