This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
