I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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