My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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