It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
