Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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