She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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