I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
