I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
