I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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