So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
