operation harelip BJ is a go
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
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She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
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Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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