420 ftw
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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