if you like me you must not know who I am
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Where are you guys?
Drunk
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
