It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize