We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
this will be a night to untag.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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