thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
