No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
